In the previous section, we discussed the forgiveness of sins, but we did not explain what forgiveness itself is, what it means to forgive and to ask for forgiveness. The word “forgiveness” in our everyday use has lost its original meaning, which the Church imbues in it, and from something used to describe the hypostatic, spiritual life, it has transformed into something sentimental and moralizing. We, repeating words and phrases with the word “forgive,” do not understand (we speak in absolute form because those who understand are very few) what the Church is saying and calling for when it speaks of forgiveness.

Discussing the forgiveness of sins, we saw that the word “forgive” is synonymous with “heal,” “cure.” That is, what was broken, divided, in the process of forgiveness becomes whole, unified, in which the purpose of all existence is achieved: “That all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You.” All of Catholicism, born from pagan consciousness, is built on fantasies about an angry, offended God because of Adam’s sin. After Jesus Christ paid the atonement sacrifice (the price to appease the wrath of the angry God towards Adam and Eve for their disobedience—as taught by pagan Catholics) by divine justice, the Lord’s wrath was quenched and Adam’s original sin was forgiven, in which, according to Catholics, all humanity is still guilty. Thus, Catholics forgive sins in the sacrament of confession (when I speak or quote a priest about Catholics, I address not confessional Catholics, but “Orthodox” who think like Catholics, like pagans – V.A.). If we think legally (by law), it is possible to forgive (i.e., grant amnesty) and release a criminal, or forgive a debt, or stop being offended… But, as we have seen, there is no sentimentality in this word, no amnesty, indulgence, or compromise. A sin cannot be forgiven—it can only be healed. A fracture cannot be forgiven—only treated. In baptism, confession, no sin is forgiven—it is treated. Mortality, decay, passibility (innocent suffering: hunger, thirst, fatigue, etc.), as consequences of the original sin of Adam and Eve, must be treated, not forgiven. You might ask: what about the wrath of God, irritation at disobedient people? – God is Love and only Love!!!
God is not angry with anyone, does not take offense at anyone, does not punish anyone – He Loves! (When I typed this sentence, I was ashamed that I write such things, and it hurts that, unfortunately, it is necessary to write not only for ordinary people but also for “professors” of theology – V.A.). God forgives – an incorrect statement (similarly: water burns – V.A.). God does not forgive and will not forgive anyone. God is Love, which means that even before the creation of the World, He forgave everyone and everything because He Loves. He loves everyone, everyone equally – the Virgin Mary, Stalin, and even the godfighter Satan!!! Therefore, let’s discard the pagan thinking about forgiveness from God after the grave – it’s already in the past!!! Thus, forgiveness means not to release (amnesty), not to forget, not to turn away, but quite the opposite action – to accept, to share sorrow, misfortune, pain… To forgive a sin in a moralizing sense is to declare a sick person healthy and discharge him from the hospital, convincing him that all is well (but his disease, problem has gone nowhere!), it is to turn away from someone drowning, dying, and not to take offense at him, it is to forget everything that was… To forgive – does not mean to forget. On the contrary, Love does not forget, it remembers what wound the neighbor has and helps to heal it. Sin always breaks, divides – therefore we speak of forgiveness (of sin) as overcoming the chasm that has arisen as a result of disconnection and the consequences of rupture (wounds caused by sin). Therefore, to forgive a sin in a moralizing sense is to discharge a seriously ill person from the hospital, giving him a certificate that he is completely healthy, it is to turn away from someone who is drowning, dying… Let’s repeat once more: to forgive – does not mean to forget. So we say in prayer not “Lord forgive,” but “Lord have mercy” – do not stop pouring the streams of Your generosity, Your grace on me, a sinner, unworthy (to have mercy – is to love someone who is unworthy of love; in this world of sin, love is possible only as mercy, where there is no mercy – there is no love, at most lust, selfishness…). We must accept the sick and take care of them, not let them go. “If a brother or sister be naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?” – says the apostle James, addressing each of us.
Forgiveness is mutual acceptance and restoration of unity, oneness, integrity (broken by sin), in which the healing process begins – organic integration into a single whole. God forgives (accepts) a person, a person – God, people – each other, and each person accepts themselves (restoration of communication, integrity at all levels of existence: with God, neighbor, and oneself). To begin the forgiveness of sin, conditions must be created: to forgive God, neighbor, and oneself.
To forgive God, forgive people, forgive oneself – means to accept everything as it is at the moment, it is the beginning of repentance, it is the beginning of being here and now (not in the past, which no longer exists, or in a dreamt-up idealized non-existent future). To forgive God for everything He has done to you “good” and “bad.” To accept God as He is, not as the idol I have created. God, who heals, of course, not without pain, Who leads to the cross so that I may also partake of the resurrection and eternal life. To accept, to forgive a neighbor – because he is me. “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” This “as” indicates an ontological relation, that we by nature are one (i.e., we – people have one nature, we are consubstantial, as the Persons of the Holy Trinity are consubstantial), therefore for a holistic, catholic life we must become all-human, include all of existence in our life, recognize and accept all reality (evil does not exist, does not have substance – V.A.) as “ours.” To accept, to forgive oneself – is to dare to look truth in the eye, to accept oneself as one is now, not as one wants to see oneself (ideal “I”). This is the starting point in the healing process – to be here and now, in reality, in order to grow beyond oneself.
How can one know that one has forgiven someone? Only when I can die for that person, only when I have fully accepted her as she is (and not as I would like to see her). To forgive – is not to let go, forget, but to unite into a single whole, to accept the other as one’s life. Because how do we forgive? “I forgive you – go so that I no longer see you, and even hear about you, that is, die for me.” Such forgiveness has nothing to do with forgiveness in the sense of the Church, or, for example, with what the Church calls believers on Forgiveness Sunday: to accept one another anew, to cover each other’s shortcomings, sins, weaknesses with mercy, and together, only together to embark on Lent, which is the path to Easter, the Kingdom of God – the Kingdom of love, unity, mercy… “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” “We are all indebted to each other in everything.” (If necessary, then in the third part, when we talk about the annual cycle of services, namely about Forgiveness Sunday, we will stop in more detail on the concept of “forgiveness.” But for now, what has been said is enough for reflection – V.A.).
To say “forgive me” – means to say: bear with me, do not reject me (and not: let’s forget what happened – you cannot forget!), I will not become better in a moment, I will not change (I will still deceive, envy, steal tomorrow…) – do not turn away from me, help me overcome the illness (passions, lust…), allow me to lean on you… I will never get up by myself… Help! Therefore, when someone asks you for forgiveness – that’s what they are asking of you, not for amnesty, and go your way… Think about how we forgive, how we accept each other!
Asking for forgiveness should not be as if you deserve it! You need to be ready to hear a refusal, and in humility, through good deeds addressed to the “victim” of our egoism, wait for forgiveness, mercy… And not as we often do: hearing a refusal, we immediately change the mask of a gentle sheep for the mask of a predatory wolf: “Oh, like this – well, I’ll show you where the crayfish winter,” and off we go…
To forgive should be like this: there is not yet anything to forgive, and I have already forgiven everything. The vase is not yet broken, and I have already forgiven for the broken vase. The Lord won’t forgive anyone? There was nothing to forgive yet, before the creation of the world – the Lord forgave everything to everyone! God is love and only love! Let’s become like God in love – this is true happiness.
P.S. I cannot help but say a few words about confession in connection with forgiveness. In confession, it is not God who forgives (He has forgiven everything to everyone! He has accepted everyone), but I forgive God, neighbor, and myself, I take responsibility for my actions and life. Until we understand this – we will have no spiritual life, confessions will be fruitless. We want God to change, but in fact, we need to change, we want God to forgive (and it turns out, He has already forgiven everything – what else do I want from Him?!), but I need to forgive, we want God to do something for us (when He has already done everything – saved us, deified us… there is nothing more to add!), but we need to work… We hope on God, and God hopes on us, we look at God (hoping that He will do something for us), and God (surprised, as He has already done everything, although he “still works”) looks at us. You can (and so, unfortunately, most do) be in the church all your life, regularly confess and commune, and still not change – come into the church and remain the same (this is because we rely on the magical action of the sacraments, that God will do everything for us. God has already done everything – He has given Himself to each of us, and it depends on us whether we accept the Gift in the labors of repentance, the correct spiritual life in the spirit of humility, which is acquired by the zealous observance of the gospel commandments, or we will continue to ask God for the Gift of grace, which He has generously poured out over the whole world!!!). God is Love! (I repeat this Gospel so many times because we, “Christians,” unfortunately, do not believe in it, and when we hear it, we cover our ears: because if God is Love, then the cross is a guarantee of happiness, and nobody wants the Cross and Golgotha! Happiness without the cross is an illusion! Blessed (happy) are those persecuted for righteousness, blessed are the hungry, blessed are those who mourn, blessed are the peacemakers, blessed are you when they persecute, curse, kill you for Christ… We, people, unfortunately, do not need such happiness – we need peace (not Christ’s – no, but the unimpeded opportunity to commit sin), health, a car, an apartment, constant pleasure from all sides, money, etc., in short – hell. – V.A.).