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The Church was born as a reality that opposes both outwardly, visibly, and even more – inwardly, invisibly, – this world. The metamorphosis of the church is that it gradually became, and now finally is – the religious “service” of the world. Initially (in principle, in the foundation) the Sacrament of repentance was entirely focused on one thing: the betrayal of the Church, that is, the incarnate and manifested reality by her. Sin was primarily understood as the betrayal of the “new life”, falling away from it (adultery, breaking the marital bonds with Christ, divorce). It (sin) was a break, falling away, betrayal, just as holiness was understood not as “moral perfection”, but as “ontological” faithfulness to Christ (to be Christ’s, to belong to Christ, to be a Christian = to be holy) and His Kingdom. The moral teaching of the Gospel is ontological, hypostatic, and not “ethical”. The essence of sin is not simply the violation of the “law”, but the falling away from God and from life, from true “desire” (eros); the essence of it for Christians is as a betrayal of Christ, falling away from Him and from the Church (the Body of Christ) as the life given by Him. Thus, the Sacrament of repentance is a return, through repentance, to the “new life” already given, already revealed; it is the restoration of marital life with Christ in His House – in the Parish-Eucharist. However, modern confession is not directed at this, its essence is not in this, but in some “moral” regulation of life in “this world”, regulation of its own “laws”. In other words, initially the sacrament of repentance was related not to the moral law, but to faith and to sin as falling away from faith (“he who believes in Him does not sin” – see 1 John 3: 9). The present confession (frequent or once a year – it doesn’t matter) is a conversation about the violation of the “moral law”, about weaknesses, infirmities, and sins, but regardless of faith, of the relationship with the Husband-Christ! And the words in it are not about Christ, but something like: “try to pray more…”, “fight temptations…”. As in everything in Christianity, the sacrament of repentance is eschatological. It is the return of a person to the desired (Eros) Kingdom, to the “life of the age to come”. And what has it become today – I don’t even know how to understand and what “categories” to use to explain this “absolution of sins” after a three-minute (or even less) conversation about “weaknesses”…
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Having lost God, rejecting Him – humanity as a whole, and in “personality”, lives with one all-encompassing focus on itself: selfishness in the literal sense of the word. And since it is impossible to live by oneself, because this is the reduction of life to absurdity, which is life only because it lives for others, selfishness has to constantly invent dangers for itself, equate “other” with an enemy, and life – with struggle!
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The main and constant feeling is the feeling of life. It can be expressed by the word “amazement”, perceiving every moment and every state as a gift (as opposed to “self-evident”, “obvious”). Everything is always new, everything is always not just life, but a meeting with life and therefore like a revelation… This gift, this revelation requires attention, response. Life, in other words, is the constant “acceptance” of the gift of life… Unfortunately, it seems that the vast majority of people live without noticing life. For them, it is like a neutral, faceless “frame” of themselves, a “substrate”, but not a meeting, not a gift. They do not see it, just as we do not see the mirror when we look at ourselves in it. As in the mirror we see ourselves, but not the mirror, so in life it is possible (even very easy) not to see life. Or in another way: it is a transparent bag filled with me: my activities, cares, interests, etc. Sometimes this filling gives a sense of “life” (“life is seething”), sometimes – in moments of enlightenment – almost despair. In this aspect, even death is a gift, that is, again as a meeting, as the last, decisive meeting with Him who alone, ultimately, “gave life to life, revealed Himself in it, made it a gift”. “For me, life is Christ, and death is gain,” says the Apostle Paul. Yes, if life becomes, – and to the extent that it becomes, – Christ, if He is this gift that constantly turns into life, then death is gain, the blessed condition of achieving that “face to face”, the desire (longing) for which is the true life in “this world” (man is desire!). Man desires only the bliss (happiness) that he knows, and it is only here, in the experience of this life. We find our eternity only here. And Christianity asserts that we find it in Christ. He came to us for this, into this life, so that it would become a meeting with Him and in this meeting is laid the desire (thirst) for the fulfillment of the final meeting with Him – in death. It becomes “gain”. Hence – the self-evident condition: “If you love Me…”. You cannot love either “teachings” or “commandments” or “promises”. One can love only if there is a meeting if Christ has become the “Gift” of everything in life (in the Eucharist).