Let’s say a few words about children. Everyone “loves” children, especially parents who accumulate everything for them, work hard—everything for the children! But do parents hear their children, whom they think they love so much? Unfortunately, the answer to this question is negative: they do not hear at all and treat children as private property, as their own, not as individuals, as free beings. Parents hear themselves and act with children based on their selfish “adult” world, not hearing what the children want and what they really need. The main thing children need is harmony between their parents! A father’s duty to children is to love their mother (his wife), and a mother’s duty is to love their father (her husband)!!! Children need harmony in the family, in the home! The greatest gift to children is our (parents’) presence in their lives, harmony in the family, not wealth-estates, which parents care about, spinning like squirrels in a wheel, from morning to night, disappearing on three or four jobs… or wandering around the world in search of big earnings!? Everything for the family, everything for the children!? And families break, children grow up orphans with living parents, – yes, with dollars, in mansions… but orphans, deprived of parental attention, warmth, friendship, understanding… Peace is a wealth that does not depend on external goods (money, property…). Parents, let us not deceive ourselves that we love our children if we do not even hear their basic (psychological) needs! Let us give them what will truly be their wealth, a treasure for all life, and for eternity—peace, joy…—Jesus Christ!!!
So, the basis of the catechumenate is obedience, and the basis of obedience is listening, and the basis of listening (to hear and understand, and accept the will-desire of Another) is silence (renouncing one’s will, one’s desires, renouncing oneself; the unwillingness (and even inability) to speak, to be active, not just restraining the tongue, not making sounds (and impatiently waiting: when will the interlocutor finally shut up, so I can start telling!? Instead of listening to Him, I think: what can I say about this or that issue, what do I know!?); internally being empty, to (have a place to) accept and receive the good will-desire of Another, to hear Him; this is renouncing various prejudices, assumptions, guesses, stamps…), and this is a great science that must be learned not remotely and alone, but – to have good fruit – in a stationary way (in the Church, under the guidance of Christians who have already tasted the fruits of silence, who know how to listen, otherwise they could not catechize, teach). The foundation of all good (communication in good) is silence, listening, obedience. “Be careful how you listen!” Watch yourself at least a little, and you will be convinced that you do not hear your neighbor, or very quickly get tired of listening (on the second-third second of conversation with people or in prayer, your attention is already scattered, and you do not hear either the interlocutor or yourself…). To make you feel a little that you are not alone in this, that we are all chronically ill with disobedience, distraction, and that it is not easy to achieve the state of silence (having nothing to say and being ready to learn, not to teach; to listen, to be obedient, not to speak and command, and if to speak and command, then only as an obedient servant fulfilling the obedience to teach and command!), I will tell you a story about one catechumen. It stuck in my memory with one phrase: “I have nothing to say,” which was spoken by a “theologian,” preacher, professor, doctor of theology after he began preparing for baptism, becoming a catechumen! And in this context (about silence and the condition of learning-catechumenate), it somewhat illustrates the difficult path to silence, so that we do not mistakenly think: it is enough for me to want, and I will be silent, I will be “all ears, all attention, all silence-hesychia!?” No, my dear, the path to silence-hesychia is a long, cross-bearing path of self-denial, which can only be traveled in the Church, under the careful supervision of experienced Christians, or at least move cautiously with the advice of a more experienced friend-counselor. So, this is the story of a bishop who, by God’s mercy (taught by Christians), embarked on the path of catechumenate (being already a bishop(!), he began to prepare for baptism by the Holy Spirit). This bishop told a Christian (Joachim Parr) the following about himself. At one time, he studied at the theological faculty in Athens and was the best student in the course. Learning about his achievements, the Patriarch of Alexandria asked the Greek Archbishop to send this graduate to teach at his seminary after receiving his diploma, because the Church of Alexandria was in decline and needed educated people for its revival.
After negotiations, the young priest agreed to go to Alexandria for three years. But instead of three years, he stayed there for ten, became a professor, and was ordained a bishop. One day, this professor (a “theologian”) got into a car accident on his way home after another lecture at Aristotle University. The ambulance took him to intensive care. When he regained consciousness, he asked to see a priest. It turned out that a monk from Mount Athos was also being treated in that hospital, and he came to hear the bishop’s confession. During the confession, the monk unexpectedly told the bishop to stop being such a proud person (after all, he was a speaker, preacher, theologian, professor, bishop… all these titles fostered pride, growing on the fertile pastures of vanity and Pharisaic righteousness, a sense of self-importance and his own significance for the world), and advised him to go to the Holy Mountain and become a real monk (that is, to become a Christian; since he was a monk, he should begin his announcement, preparation for baptism, in the status of a true monk! Just as a married person does not need to divorce his wife or become a monk to become a Christian – each should be saved in the condition in which he was called unless the Lord calls someone to a special service, but these are exceptions). The monk stated that the bishop should stop traveling all over the world and pretending to be a very important person. The bishop was very angry with the “dirty” monk and drove him out of the ward. But the words of the Athonite monk remained in the memory of the plump bishop for a long time. He realized that what the monk said was the truth he did not want to hear.