After some time, the bishop recovered and was discharged from the hospital. The Ecumenical Patriarch took an interest in him and invited him to an assembly where the bishop was to give a welcoming speech. However, during his speech, the bishop suffered a heart attack, overturned the table, and was taken back to intensive care. In the hospital, he periodically lost consciousness, and the doctors had to work hard to save him.
Between life and death, the bishop began to plead, “Mother of God, if you save me, I promise to go to Mount Athos and dedicate the rest of my life to repentance.”
The Mother of God saved the bishop – he recovered, but he did not go to Mount Athos. He went to the Patriarch and said, “Master, I promised the Mother of God to go to Mount Athos. Release me.” The Patriarch replied, “You were just delirious; many things can be promised in such a state! You are alive – so don’t worry.” The bishop continued to beg the Patriarch, but the Patriarch insisted, “You must be obedient to the Church. The Church made you a bishop, so obey and work.” Every year, the bishop asked to be released, but when he became very bothersome to the Patriarch, he said, “I give you three more years, work them out, and then you can go to Athos.” After three years, the bishop set out on his journey. He knew nothing about monasticism. He was a fat man with soft hands, wearing beautiful Italian shoes with thin soles and a silk cassock… And in this appearance, one fine day, he set foot on Athos. He immediately began asking about the monk who, 32 years ago in the hospital, directed him to Athos. The Athonite fathers asked the bishop, “Master, whom are you looking for?” To which he replied, “I am looking for a monk…” and described him: small, dirty… The monks asked, “What is his name? Where does he live?” The bishop again described his appearance, to which they replied, “They all look like that here…” He was upset because he needed to find the monk who directed him here. One of the brothers told the bishop, “If such an elder exists, he probably lives in the most remote place of Athos, in Karoulia. Climb the mountain, maybe there you will find your elder.”
The bishop recounted, “I went. While climbing the mountain, I sweated all over, the stones pierced my Italian shoes, and I was so tired that I thought I would die on the way. However, the monks I met told me to keep going, the elder was ahead. Finally, someone told me that I had arrived. Several monks were waiting in line outside the cell. I wanted to move forward, but they pointed me to the end of the line and made me stand at the back. But I am a bishop and not used to waiting in line. I got angry but decided to wait. The elder’s assistant came out and asked, ‘What do you want?’ ‘I came to see the elder.’ ‘The elder is tired, he has been receiving brothers all day and has now gone to sleep. He cannot meet with you today.’ ‘But I have come such a long way, I have climbed the mountain! What should I do?’ ‘Come back tomorrow.’ ‘I have nowhere to go.’ ‘Everyone sleeps on the ground, you sleep too.’ That night I spent outside, not closing my eyes until morning. In the morning, the monk announced, ‘The elder will not receive anyone today; he will be praying.’ I couldn’t believe what I heard. Another day wasted. I had come so far and had nowhere to go, so I decided to wait. I spent the whole day under a tree, trying to pray, but all I could think about was how angry I was at the elder. The next morning, the monk approached me and said, ‘You are still here? Alright, you have been patient, come in, the elder will talk to you.’ I entered the cell, and the elder asked, ‘What do you want?’ ‘I want to be a monk,’ I replied. ‘Why did you come here if you want to be a monk?’
I told the elder about the old monk who confessed me 32 years ago and my vow to the Mother of God that if she saved me from death, I would become a monk on the Holy Mountain and spend the rest of my days in repentance…
The elder said, ‘You will not survive here.’ I asked, ‘Why?’ ‘Because you will never be able to do what I tell you. What did you do before you came here?’ ‘I was a bishop.’ The elder exclaimed, ‘Oh my God! In life, only women cause more temptations! Get out of here.’ I fell to my knees, ‘Please, elder, help me become a monk.’ He said, ‘I will let you stay in the cell, but only on one condition.’ ‘I will try.’ ‘No, you must say, “I will do it, elder,” because if you say “I will try,” you have already given up.’ ‘I will do it, elder.’ ‘Good. Here is the condition: you are not allowed to speak to anyone – not to me, nor to those who come to see me. No one! Only when I ask you to say something, can you speak.’
Guests came to see the elder. I made tea, washed dishes, and listened. I always wanted to say something when the elder spoke with guests. Some monk would say, ‘Gregory Palamas said…’ but I knew he was wrong! I wanted to shout, ‘Idiot! Fool! That is not what Palamas said, another saint said that.’ I was boiling inside, and this went on for years. After some time, I calmed down, stopped hearing anything, and just did my tasks while praying. One morning, the elder said, ‘You can speak now.’ I thought and replied, ‘I have nothing to say (listen to what the bishop, speaker, preacher, theologian, professor says… proclaimed orthodox).’ The elder embraced me and said, ‘My dear, when you came here, you already had nothing to say, but you didn’t know it!… When you left the world, you thought the world needed you. But now, look, does the world need you as it once did? And before, it never needed you. The only thing we need in life is God. (We need God. We need nothing else. No one needs any of our words. Everyone – whether they realize it or not – needs the Lord Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit!!!).