When I said above that I would briefly answer the question, I misspoke, because there are no answers in books! In books there are some hints, directions of thought, indications, where to look for an answer to a question, a problem, but in no case an answer! An answer can be obtained only through the mediation of the knowing, in direct communication with him, who will specifically indicate to me, how exactly to know the answer to my life question! Therefore, I will say what I said in the first part – the purpose of these humble efforts is not to give answers, but to encourage interlocutors to ask questions, without which it is impossible to hear the Gospel – the answer to the thirst, hunger, desire for comfort…
Therefore, what does it mean when St. Macarius the Great says about himself that he has done nothing good, and this despite the fact that the saint raised the dead, cast out demons, healed the sick with his prayers… (this is not an indicator of sanctity or good deeds), but, most importantly, that the saint with his prayers and instructions brought people to Paradise (that is, they were saved, set on an irreversible path of salvation, deification), brought them closer to God (these are the real good deeds, which have eternal value). Yes, these are good deeds! Then what do these words of the saint mean? Macarius, being humble (otherwise he would not have been a Spirit-bearer), knew his helplessness, paralysis, therefore knew that he himself had done no good deeds, and about everything good that he did, he knew that it was not he who acted, but God through him, not by his own strength, but by God’s! He himself is nothing, and with God, in God – god by Grace! What good deed can a paralyzed do?! Only one – if he wants to go to the toilet or feels another need or necessity – loudly, humbly (without claims and ultimatums) ask (cry out) for mercy! Maybe someone from the household will hear and have mercy, save from sin and help do a good deed!!! A good deed – to humbly ask for mercy! We talked (see Part I.), that a good deed is only that which teaches us our helplessness, which gives the fruit of humility, from which the prayer of the tax collector, the wise robber, the harlot…, which alone inclines heaven and is the cause of the descent of the Holy Spirit, the Kingdom of God, to which God responds: Today you will be with Me in Paradise!
(You ask: why do I repeat the same thought so many times? Only because I know about our tendency to forget quickly – just turn the page, and we have already forgotten what was said, and reading must be voluminous, not flat, we must always read a word in both local and global contexts…, so we resort to frequent reminders).
What does it mean: ‘Keep your mind in hell, but do not despair.’ The road to Paradise lies through hell (the knowledge of one’s godlessness, nothing-being)! There is no other way! (The first to walk it – is Jesus Christ, who alone descended to the very bottom of hell, experienced the ultimate godlessness (‘My God, My God! Why have You forsaken Me?’), the ultimate God-forsakenness! He is the Way, which he blazed, having walked it first, for all the god-dwellers)! ‘Without Me you can do no good thing,’ – says God! ‘I have done nothing good,’ – says a Christian, knowing the Truth! If a person begins (taught by the Church, which alone knows the essence of God’s commandments) to fulfill God’s commandments, then they begin to recognize the truth about themselves, that is, to descend into hell under the guardianship of the Church, which knows this path of acquiring the Grace of the Holy Spirit well (on this path of descent, God repeatedly (‘externally’) comforts the struggler-declared, encourages him). You – are a cripple, paralyzed, a ‘living’ dead – you have recognized this, recognized that you need Christ (the Healer), do not rely on yourself (on your good deeds, which do not exist) – do not despair, do not fall into hopelessness, because there is a Doctor (Savior), who heals all diseases, raises the living dead, who have recognized that they are dead. Therefore, rejoice, for the Doctor is coming to you, to resurrect you, the four-day dead! Keep your mind in hell (powerlessness, paralysis for good) – never forget who you are by yourself (as an individual, egoist), but do not despair, hope in God, who leads out of hell! (What does this mean and how can it be, what is this bliss, if I have to remember that I am a nothing-being, – what do these words mean? – details in the following parts).
You ask about the forgiveness of sins in confession! You are surprised that I said that sins are not forgiven! Firstly, this is from a misunderstanding of the Sacraments and confession in particular (we talked about this in previous chapters), and secondly, what forgiveness are we talking about?! Imagine a picture: a paralyzed, after confessing his sins and showing sincere repentance and remorse, promises not to relieve himself under himself anymore!? He deeply regrets that he did so, but promises not to commit such a sin (will not relieve himself under himself as needed)!? To understand the essence of this statement, it is necessary to understand the sacraments and what sin (= disease) and sins (= symptoms of the disease) are in the Orthodox way (see Part I.). More about confession (its practical side: what it means to confess sins, to repent of sins, how to confess, etc.) in the following parts.